The fabulous Grace Thiele is back with her FINAL *sniff* Great British Bake Off recap.
Well helloooooooooooo bakers!!! How are we all? Ready to recap the final? Have we all sufficiently recovered from last’s week’s excitement?
So for the final we had a (drum roll…) ROYAL THEME!!!!!!!
The first round was merigne crowns. Candice appeared to misinterpret this eeeeeeeeeeeever so slightly…
No dear, you don’t wear it like that!
Andrew did, however, take this missive really quite seriously. Part of me almost hopes he checked the mannequin head against the Queen’s crown specifications, in case she happened to be watching and wanted to order one for her next Garden Party. At least if the food wasn’t up to standard, she could break off a bit to nibble on…
Jane’s was perhaps less appropriate. After all, I’m sure that Her Majesty would be HORRIFIED by a cracking bottom.
Or, for that matter, Andrew’s sticky nuts.
Now, this round, we witnessed that rare phenomenon – THE HOLLYWOOD HANDSHAKE.
Followed by – making its debut – THE DOUBLE HOLLYWOOD HANDSHAKE.
I think Paul may’ve mistaken Jane for the Queen herself there! While Candice’s Queen Victoria’s Mango and Strawberry Crown also looked delicious, and more ‘royal’ with it’s teeny Queen Vic-esque crown on top, Jane’s was my pic too. I think I’d commit murder for this.
Now – the technical! Now, with increasingly complicated bakes in the final, I think we were all expecting something gob-smackingly fiddly.
I have to say, I totally approved. My grandma made a cracking Victoria Sandwich, and I’m sure the Queen would enjoy it too. And then there is, of course, the TRUE technical challenge…
Pretty much no instructions whatsoever.
Obviously, this meant that precision was key. Hence measuring individual eggs – which I might begin trying at home. I wonder how many grams will give you the perfect scramble?!
However, I do wonder: would a spirit level be useful? After seeing Andrew effectively gluing his crown together with caramel earlier in the show, I’m definitely seeing a future for a Great British DIY Off on the BBC next year.
In this round, the order was totally reversed – Andrew on top (ahem), Jane on bottom, Candice still squarely in the middle!
Now, for me, one of the best bits of the final is getting to know a bit about people’s backgrounds. So we discovered that…
Candice was the cutest kid – Andrew has the loveliest grandma – and Jane was an extra in Working Girl.
Also – we got to see our old contestants again this week! Val and Selasi are, and will always be my complete favourites. If there was a personality gong, they could share it.
Now, the showstopper round! In this final it was based on picnics!!! MY BLOOMING FAVOURITE!!! Honestly, I’m sitting here munching on Pringles, which my mum only ever let us have on picnics as kids. The association of these two items have been forever cemented in mind as true gifts of God to humanity.
Of course, as my mother always taught me, picnics are not to be undertaken with the spontaneity of an Enid Blyton novel. Many a Thiele Family Sunday Outing has been planned in the following fashion.
Having said that, watching Candice bake her (ultimately gorgeous) sausage rolls was more like something from a horror movie then Noddy.
Of course, by the final, we expected top notch professional standards to be on display. So I was spectacularly impressed by Andrews ‘Poke It And See If It Wiggles’ test…
As well as the good old ‘Pour A Load of Chocolate On Top’ technique from Candice.
Professionalism forgiven however, I don’t think there’s any denying that the showstopper displays were AMAZING!!!! Even if the contestants look, frankly, exhausted. Which by this point they had every right to be!
I had so many favourites from this final showstopper. Jane’s seafood quiches…
Andrew’s chocolate shard cake…
And Candice’s black pudding sausage rolls were all INCREDIBLE!!!
But, we all know we were counting up how they’d done in the first two rounds and how many stand-out elements they produced for the picnic.
And the winner was…
The Lipstick Queen did it!!! Candice has been one of the season’s saucier contestants in her humour, but she’s always been willing to push the boundaries of her abilities. She’d tripped many times, and often overstretched herself, but consequently I honestly think she’s grown the most. And she completed the entire final in lippy, heels and a cocktail dress. Now THAT’S my idea of feminism.
So – that’s it folks! I’ve so loved writing these posts for you all! For now, at least – cheerio possums!