The fabulous Grace Thiele is back with another Great British Bake Off recap. Spoilers abound!
Well hello bakers!! I hope you all enjoyed last week’s episode as much as I did – I’d like to pretend I was fanning myself on Cyprus with a Greek hunk, but I was (slightly less glamorously) enjoying a birthday staycation.
I have to say though, I can’t not mention this most glorious moment of British television.
SELASI!!! MARRY ME!!
Ahem. (Regathers self.) Moving on…
This week is dessert week – roulades, mysterious nutty French cakes (damn those mysterious Frenchies, as Blackadder would say), and mousse cakes!
Choice of ingredients is crucial on Bake Off: after last week’s Botanicals I was looking forward to great strides forward in flavour innovation!
And Benjamina opts for… the humble pineapple ring!
Umm.
Having said that, technological advances were definitely made. Frantically waving around baking trays seems positively archaic compared to Tom’s new-fangled hand fan. I can only presume he borrowed it from his mum after her holiday in Marbella…
As always, we know that Paul and Mary are looking for precision in presentation. Selasi certainly has a grasp on this…
Tom, less so.
Slather on the chocolate love, you won’t hear any complaints from the Mills & Boon office! I’m sure Mary and Paul will be completely fooled!
My favourite on this round was Benjamina’s – I’ve just had chips for lunch, and I could wolf this.
I have to admit, my reaction to a cocktail cake may have resembled Mary’s…
Candice’s, with white chocolate and raspberries, also looked delicious. And if it doesn’t win Bake Off, she can always enter it in the Chelsea Flower Show next year!
The technical challenge was the very well-known (commonly found in Greggs) marjolaine!
I have to admit, my reaction to a cocktail cake may have resembled Mary’s…
Candice’s, with white chocolate and raspberries, also looked delicious. And if it doesn’t win Bake Off, she can always enter it in the Chelsea Flower Show next year!
The technical challenge was the very well-known (commonly found in Greggs) marjolaine!
I have to admit, my reaction to a cocktail cake may have resembled Mary’s…
Candice’s, with white chocolate and raspberries, also looked delicious. And if it doesn’t win Bake Off, she can always enter it in the Chelsea Flower Show next year!
The technical challenge was the very well-known (commonly found in Greggs) marjolaine!
According to Andrew, it’s basically a ‘posh Viennetta’. Posher than a Viennetta?! Food of the aristocracy, kings, queens and emperors?!
PHWOAR CRIKEY.
Especially as it resembles nothing so much as a cinder block.
Indeed, you could’ve built houses out of Selasi’s. When Paul Hollywood has to throw his whole weight into slicing it, you know you’ve got solid building materials.
Consequently, Selasi came last on this one. And Andrew came out on top!
Aaaaand the showstopper! Mousse cakes! Now, to me, mousse comes like this…
No? Oh.
Apparently Jane took this challenge a bit more seriously than I would’ve done. Question: is someone employed to do Bake Off contestants’ washing up?!
If so, I don’t fancy their job much. How does one clean alien gunge off a pan?!
One aspect of Bake Off that sometimes gets forgotten is that they are filmed months in advance – so while I’m snuggling into my fur coat, we’re watching contestants in melting heat! This proves particularly difficult when it comes to anything that needs to chill to set.
Having said that, these still look fricking delicious. Even if you sort of want to pour them into a mug, microwave it and drink it.
Hmmm. Is this a thing?! (Immediately cancels all weekend plans in order to begin highly scientific experimentation.)
Still, though, scrummy. Jane’s blackcurrant and vanilla?
C’est délicieux!
Selasi’s coffee and chocolate?
Truly scrumptious!!
Benjamina’s apple crumble?
YUMMM!!!!
Tom’s Hipster Picnic?
Ummmm….
Top marks here go to Andrew, though, for actually reconstructing a fairground ride in the form of a Ferris Wheel. And his childhood ice cream mousse cakes looked supercalifragilisticexpialidocious as well.
Consequently Andrew was Star Baker this week!! Yay! Aww, look at his face.
It was, however, fairly obvious that one particular contestant was struggling this week. And so, it was Tom’s turn to depart.
Poor bloke. I think he knew his time was up when he opted for ‘classic flavour combinations’. After pastry with granola, fennel churros, Chai Frappelattechino biscuits, and a ‘citrus’ (ahem) G&T drizzle cake that knocked Mary’s socks off, millionaire’s shortbread was a bit passé. Oh well!
Next week: and a special one for Historical Romance fans! Tudor Week! Get out your ruffs and doublets, start growing beards, and go and shoot some pheasants. If in doubt, walk around the streets carrying a skull and shouting ‘To be or not to be!’ at the top of your lungs.
Cheerio possums!
